I know. I wanted to just watch the premiere so I could really absorb it. I missed commenting about stuff on here though, so I’ll probably go back to that next episode.
I can’t believe I haven’t seen more people talking about Sam’s hallucinations.
He sees Kevin being killed by Gadreel then sees Dean’s face after he got torn apart by hellhounds. He sees Meg dying and Jessica on the ceiling.
Then it’s just Dean. Dean in Swan Song beaten by Lucifer using Sam’s own hands. Dean’s voice saying “I’m dead because of you. This is all your fault. We’re all dead because of you, Sam. It should have been you. You’re a freak. It’s your fault. Why won’t you die? It’s all your fault.”
And he says “You’re right”, surely the most heartbreaking line Sam has uttered since he said “So?” after Dean told him he’d die if the trials were completed.
He was being confronted by all the stuff he feels guilty about. Most of that involved Dean. He has so much guilt over Dean. Thanks to the BMoL and their mind games, he had to listen to Dean, his rock, the only constant in his life, telling him to quit, to give up, to die. But he didn’t. He probably wanted to right then. As far as he knows, Dean’s dead. Cas is gone. EVERYONE is gone. But he fought back. He didn’t give up. Instead he cut his hand right where it was cut before. The spot where he always pressed to control the hallucinations after Dean showed him how. “I am your flesh and blood brother. Okay? Believe in that! You gotta make it stone number one, and build on it.”
I’m a little bit awed by Sam’s character right now and by how awesome Jared did in those scenes.
nothingidputbeforeyou 