2.19 Folsom Prison Blues
listen to me.
i still love this.
because it was the only time they ever wore gloves to go Do Crimes. and all i can think of was the conversation that led up to this one useless purchase of the Crime Gloves That Make Us Bad Guys.
“Dean. DEAN. Seriously? We don’t need fucking gloves to look like criminals. If we’re gonna be stealing stuff and letting alarms go off and LETTING OURSELVES GET CAUGHT we’re gonna look plenty illegal. We don’t… we just don’t need the gloves, man.”
and then Dean did what he does every time he has an opportunity to act or dress like a cowboy, you know that thing he does?? he dove in head-first and fucking. insisted. “No no. I’m not getting caught looking like a DUMBASS criminal, Sam. If we’re gonna get caught, we’re gonna get caught looking the part – looking like professionals.”
“Okay, well, setting aside the fact that professionals don’t get caught, we’re also like board-certified graverobbers so what’s the storyline, Dean, do we have graverobbin’ gloves? Do we have pretty, clean gloves for being jewel thieves and nasty dirt gloves for our side kink or what??”
and Dean’s face is like. aghast. “Don’t make it crass. Don’t make it gross. We’re professionals.”
“Do you have professional murder gloves, Dean? Do you have professional parking ticket gloves because we’ve got like nine hundred of those. This is the fucking stupidest thing I’ve done in my life. We’re gonna botch this three times before we actually manage to get caught. Because we’re professionals but to look like the type of professionals that get caught, I’m gonna have to sit still in one place for seven minutes. I’m gonna sit there for seven minutes and have to– like, ‘Oh, no! It’s the cops! Oh, no! Don’t arrest me!’ and shit and it’s gonna be humiliating.”
“I’m buying you mittens instead of gloves. Does that make you feel better? Yours don’t have fingers, so I’m the one who has to do the safe cracking. You’re the lookout who got us in trouble. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. You get mittens with that shitty attitude.”
“I was literally like three weeks away from having a bachelor’s degree and now I’m gonna have crime mittens. I’m gonna sell you for toilet paper when we’re on the inside.”
nothingidputbeforeyou 